old dream

I dreamed of dancing white horses, bright on a warm and dim stage

Rhythmic and beautiful,

But you called me away.

As I left, backstage, a magnificent white horse grasped my finger and bit.

He would not let go. A girl with sad eyes was sitting on his back.

They both so wanted me to stay! But you called me away to an urgent door.

I followed.

When I opened the door there was only an empty, cobwebbed cupboard.

I was so surprised.

It turned dark. I was in a crowd, watching chanting monks

They began to tear lambs apart, and threw them into the crowd for us to eat.

Disgusted, I felt I was eating my own warm viscera.

A self-devouring sacrifice.

A woman was in the audience, mechanically cutting a man’s throat over and over

With a boxcutter.

I was lying in my bed alone. A man walked past in the passageway. The one the woman killed. He is holding a dead body in front of him, like a puppet, like a persona. Cutting its throat with a box cutter.

That is when I started to make my lover,

limb by limb,

out of the air.

That is when my lover began to come to life beside me.

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